When you don’t know what to do, you’ll fall back to your habits.
I cannot count how many times I’ve been in a work situation, and I haven’t known what to do. I mean tumble weed, not an actual clue.
You know the scenarios, the vibe in the room or on a call changes and the atmosphere shifts and suddenly it feels like everyone is pulling in a different direction. Or, a meeting with colleagues is completely derailing and your assertive skills are failing to have any impact. Or, a leader has thrown a question out to the floor and you’re debating on the spot should you answer it or if someone else should answer it. Ever notice leaders rarely direct a question at any one specifically - it's such a clever tactic to see how in sync people are.
Usually, how you respond in these moments, comes down to your defaults. Your “fight, flight or freeze” responses. It's the knee jerk reactions.
How we respond is usually reflexive and not far off other activities we do without thinking, like itching or blinking. There is one key difference however, we can set up habits to help us manage these response. It's these habits, when done consistently, that I guarantee you will fall back on when you feel cornered. It's these habits that guide you and help you to take action when you don’t know what to do.
Lets delve in to some examples:
Be prepared. To minimize the effects of being caught off guard, every Friday without fail I write down my “priority” list for the week ahead. It puts very clearly in my head the things I should be in control of and have focus on. If questions get directed at me throughout the week and it’s something that isn’t on that list, at least I have a relatively high degree of confidence that I haven’t over looked any of my known key responsibilities or priorities. I can answer in good faith with a “I’ll have to speak to so-and-so on that” or “that hasn’t been brought to my attention until now, but I’ll come back to you with an answer”.
Keep moving. Even when you don’t want to. Theres a huge thrill associated with getting things done, right!? We all love that feeling. However, there WILL be days when we completely lack drive or motivation. Our heads will just not be in the game. We don’t want to have the meeting, we don’t want to write the e-mails, we don’t want to cross check the budgets, we don’t want to plan out the strategy etc etc., when this strikes I pick 3 things I want to achieve that day - for example:
Attend the necessary meetings (the ones where not showing up will only make it worse for future you) and put your camera on for them if it’s a call. Make yourself accountable for showing up, even when you don’t want to.
If you cant write the email just do the draft. Jot down the key words of the response that first comes in to your heard and come back to finish it tomorrow.
Open up the budget and look at it, you don’t have to make any adjustments or changes, just open it up and spend a few minutes looking at the current state and come back to it tomorrow.
Recognize when you may actually the problem. When EVERYONE is pissing you off and coming up with STUPID suggestions (disclaimer: they might actually be good suggestions), maybe before you engage in an discussion on what is bad or stupid about said suggestion, ask yourself the following questions first. Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Am I caffeinated? I’m not even remotely joking when I tell you how many times this has saved me!
When you build habits like this, they essentially become the blueprint for how you go about your daily life. At the end of the day, habits are just making up your mind to do something and then doing it consistently. Take the emotion out of it. You either do it or you don’t. It's uncomfortable in the beginning but in the long run, it's a way of showing up for yourself that will always stand to you, and that nobody can ever take away from you. These habits mould and shape how you move through the world, and a lot of the times dictate the ease at which you move through it.
Your habits are the training, your actions are the result.