Find your why.
It was the philosopher Nietzsche who said “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
As I sit here writing this article there’s a huge part my brain screaming phrases at me like “What’s the point!? Why are you writing this!? Who’s going to read this!? Who are you to be writing about this stuff!? You don’t know any more than anybody else!? Why should anyone listen to you!?”
All true by the way. But just because it’s true doesn’t mean it's relevant, or helpful, or what will actually happen.
And then there’s the other part of my brain, that knows that I can’t not do this anymore. I can’t not try it anyway, and see if iMentor can become the thing I envisage it can be. I believe in empowering women, even if its just a handful of women. I believe in it. I can’t stop thinking about it. And the cost of not doing it, of not making this my ambition has now outweighed any cost of embarrassment or the fear of failure or looking foolish.
One of the biggest drivers for me in pursuing this venture has been the why.
Do I want this to be the most successful blog, website and mentoring platform on the planet? Yes! Do I want women all over the world to find my platform helpful and useful and a voice or a space that they use daily to drive their careers forward? Yes! Do I want my mentoring service to be the most coveted and sought after in the world? Yes! However, these are not the why. These are highly desired and best case scenario outputs. They sustain and drive me sometimes but in more of a day dreamy kind of way.
It’s the why that makes me power up the laptop time after time. That keeps me spilling my guts out on to an article. That puts the waves of anxiety in recess when I think “what am I doing, nobody is going to want to read this”. It keeps me reading another book that I think will hold insightful and important messaging for women. It keeps me researching and reading and studying and building out a website. Even when I don’t believe in myself, and the self doubt is overwhelming, I believe in the why. And the why helps me take the next step.
Let me paint you a picture. One day, one woman somewhere in the world has had the shittiest of all shitty work days. She is literally at her wits end and consumed by this horrible, horrible day. It plays over and over in her mind and she cannot stop turning the scenario over and over in her head. She cannot stop thinking about all the different and better ways she could have and should have handled it. She’s ranted to her best friend, she’s ranted to her boyfriend, partner or spouse, but nothing has fully eased the anxiety. This day is never ending and the thoughts of this scenario are shattering her. Sleep evades her. She desperately does what we’re all told time and time again not to do when we are anxious or scared or strung out about something (but we do anyway) she googles it. Up comes my blog. She finds it oddly soothing that a complete stranger in a completely different corner of the world has gone through a very similar situation she’s going through. This woman has ALSO gone through it. This woman has even dissected it in an article (admittedly, somewhat obsessively but hopefully still comforting!) She starts flipping through the comments underneath the article posting on the instagram page, MORE women have gone through this and left some really insightful and helpful comments as to how they have dealt with it and moved passed it. She has a small smile. She breathes. She feels vice-like and restrictive grip in her sternum begin to ease, just a little bit. She sleeps. She goes in to work the next day, and she keeps on keeping on.
If I can do that, for one women, it will be worth it to me.